a Soldier's blog

An Iraqi Easter

     Well, I hope that you all had a great Easter celebration.  Too many times we get stuck on Friday the entire weekend and dwell on the pain, rather than experiencing the joy that comes from knowing that Christ rose from the grave and fulfilled his promise to us. Christ beat death like hitting an 8 penny nail with an Estwing framing hammer.  Sorry for those who have not experienced the power of that type of hammer.  The word that would describe my Easter would be “restless”.  We work seven days a week here and sometimes I even forget what day of the week it is.  Getting to a service has been a bit challenging and my platoon really only has time to go to an evening service, which is once a week.  There are some other services during the day, but they are hard at work accomplishing the mission here.  The chaplain scheduled a Sunday morning sunrise service which some of my guys attended.  I was too tired and decided to work in a later service. We shut down our maintenance shop for the morning so to give all the mechanics an opportunity to celebrate Easter.  I went to the 09:00 service, which I found out was the Catholic mass for the day.  It did not bother me which denominational service it was, as long as Christ was the center of it.  There were about five of us and the Catholic Priest/Chaplain was late.  There are not many in the area so they had to fly him in.  We waited about 20 minutes and the local Chaplain decided to let everyone know when the Priest arrived.  I just decided to come back later that evening for the ‘sinner service’ as one of my comedian Sergeants called it.  I assured him that all of the services are ‘sinner services’. "The church is not a museum for saints but a hospital for sinners." - Morton Kelsey. We had a Funny conversation about churches and petty bickering. 

     The service was pretty good.  I had to quickly remind myself to turn off the ministry thinking cap and enjoy the time of worship.  I find that I too often analyze services for content, flow, music, etc.  Do some of you do this as well?  Yeah, I can think of a few.  Well, once I turned that switch off, I allowed God to guide me through the time of worship.  We sang songs like “Give Thanks”, “My Redeemer Lives”, “But for Your Grace, “There’s something about that name”, “How great thou art”, and “Amazing Grace”.  We had a time of verbally sharing joys and concerns.  Safety of troops, health of ill spouses, and the Regiment’s mission were mentioned.  One guy shared a joy that he is closer to the Biblical homeland than he has ever been in his life.  I thought that was a great joy to share since we are around 500 or so miles from where Jesus died and rose from the grave.  We even joked about running a mission there so we can visit, ha ha.

     I usually find myself more solemn during Easter as I have grown closer to the real living, breathing Christ, who died for me.  I am not sure if my restlessness was due to not worshiping in my normal atmosphere, or if I just did not make that connection with the resurrected Christ in my heart.  I prayed that God slow my heartbeat and help my brain avoid thoughts about my own spiritual growth, which can be its own idolatry.  I needed to focus on Christ and His smile.  This sent me back to my collection hobby for the last eight years.  His smile is sometimes the only thing that can calm my spirit and remind me to not be so hard on myself as I struggle to get through the day, to know that when I trip trying to get out of my Army vehicle that He is there and chuckles with me, and that He simply loves my searching heart.  In those eight years I have only found two pictures of Jesus Laughing.  I know, I know, not so successful for that many years of collecting.  Well, I am a patient man and the ones that I have found have been sufficient for me.  My Platoon Sergeant is a Christian so I printed Him a copy off as well as the one that found its way above my bunk here.  Am I still restless?  Yes, but my heart is restless and with God, rather than just restless and alone.  We are not that easy to fix, just as a master carpenter takes more time on pieces that require more time and tender loving care.  God is the same way with those who search for Him.

"God knew our greatest need.  If our greatest need had been information, God would have sent us an educator.  If our greatest need had been technology, God would have sent us a scientist.  If our greatest need had been money, God would have sent us an economist.  If our greatest need had been pleasure, God would have sent us an entertainer.  But our greatest need was forgiveness, so God sent us a Saviour."  Roy Lessin

Here is one of my pictures of Jesus Laughing.  I give you no instructions since you can figure out on your own what to do with it.  If you find another one, please send it my way.

Thank you for fulfilling your promise to me Lord!  shawn

Remembering

Yesterday my Squadron had a memorial service for Paul Thomason.  I have a hard time describing the thoughts and feelings that came over me throughout the day; sadness, motivation, drive, anger, questioning, etc..  I first examined if all the guys in my platoon could handle such a ceremony.  Even though some were visibly shook up by Paul's death, it was healthy to attend the service.  Not only is it part of the mourning process, but it is the last time we can formally salute our fallen brother since we can't attend his funeral in TN.  After the key speakers shared very kind words about Paul and encouraged us to continue our mission, we each had the opportunity to salute him.  Inner strength comes from various different areas in my life (Faith, Tiffany, Parents, Siblings, Friends, Pride in my country, fellow Soldiers, etc).  Remembering Paul added to that strength and drive to finish the mission that he die for. 

This was the second ceremony that I have been to for a fallen Soldier.  It was in no way easier than the first, and no numbness has kicked in.  As much as it might be a good thing to become somewhat numb, I do not wish to be. 

Again, thank you for your thoughts and prayers.    shawn

"For this is also the work of the living-kindness of God, that our struggles are not protracted to a great length, but that after struggling for a brief and tiny twinkling of an eye (for such is life compared with the other) we receive crowns of victory for endless ages." --Saint John Chrysostom

I added two pictures from the memorial service.  One of them does have a picture of Paul in it.

A Fallen Volunteer

Well, some of you might have heard that a Soldier from the 278th was killed.  Now that his family has been notified, I can write something about him.  Sergeant Paul Thomason III was 37 years old, and is survived by his wife Amanda and their four children 10, 7, 4, and 2 (from Talbot, TN).  Those are the ages that I read in a news article, but I was told by other Soldiers that he had a newborn just before getting deployed, so not sure which is 100% correct.  Either way, his family is experiencing a loss that many of us will never understand.  We might act understanding and say comforting words, but we just can't even fathom the pain that Paul's family is in.  Please pray for Amanda and her strength as she presses on into a future without her husband. 

I met Paul about a week and a half ago while on a mission at another Camp.  He was looking after other Soldiers, as a good NCO (Non Commisioned Officer) should be.  We had a discussion about what his job was and how living conditions were where he lived.  He was a tall, fairly skinny guy with dark hair, and with a mustasche.  He seemed to be a jolly good ole boy, like many of the Soldiers from TN.  He smiled just a little bit more than everyone else though.  It was like that each time I saw him, he was thinking about something or someone special in his life.  Who knows why, but I could tell that happiness dwelled in his heart.  Many here are taking his death very hard.  Knowing that in war, anything can happen to any of us, each of us are looking at each other differently as time passes.  Thank you Amanda for your brave husband, and I will continue to pray for you and your children.  We push on into the next day in Paul's honor. 

Thank you Paul for your life and service to our country-- shawn

Here is the Department of Defense releasing about his death on 20March2005.

http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/2005/nr20050321-2265.html

Also, here are some local TN articles about Paul.  Some are inaccurate with his rank and what city he died in.  He was a Sergeant, and died in Kirkuk rather than Tikrit. 

http://www.wsmv.com/Global/story.asp?S=3106002&nav=1TcRXjff

http://www.tricities.com/servlet/Satellite?pagename=TRI%2FMGArticle%2FTRI_BasicArticle&c=MGArticle&cid=1031781716349&path=/news/localnews&s

http://www.chattanoogan.com/articles/article_64352.asp

http://www.wate.com/Global/story.asp?S=3105967

Rest in Peace My Brothers:

SGT Paul W. Thomason III, 20March2005, Kirkuk

SSG Eric M. Steffeney, 23February2005, Tuz (When you pray for his wife, her name is Theresa..)

SFC Paul D. Karpowich, 21December2004, Mosul (a brother Drill Sergeant of EJ's)http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/2004/nr20041224-1887.html

The Cause of Freedom

March 19th, 2003 was the start of major combat operations in the Iraq War. Since then there have been 1,519 American deaths (1,695 Coalition deaths) and countless thou sands of Iraqi deaths. This weekend take time to come to the Lord in prayer and vigil for peaceful resolution.

     As some of you know, I am a quote fan.  Mainly spiritual and patriotic quotes that catch my eye get saved.  A quote that is hard to swallow is this one:  “The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.” by  Thomas Jefferson.  Like most others, I quickly ask myself, ‘does it really require the blood of patriots?’  Many deaths during war are preventable like the thousands during the civil war who died from infection, fratricide in WWI/WWII/Vietnam, and malaria in Korea.  Did those Soldiers/Marines/Sailors/Airmen have to die?  It ranks up there with other questions that I will ask at God’s throne like, "why this or that child so early? Couldn’t we have kept them for just a few more years?"  I do know that as much as we fight for each of you at home and our great country, it all comes down to fighting for the guy next to you.  The parades and families are not here, but the battle buddy is and I think we won previous wars due to the valiant fighting for the fallen brother.  Even though we think that in this situation or that situation, a life could have been saved, their death provided the next troop with the courage and drive to ‘take that hill’ or ‘take that bunker’.  To run across what we call the ‘kill zone’ and drag a fellow Soldier to safety is heroic because the greater good of the mission is simplified to a relationship.  …My brother in arms is dying and I will die for him, just as he would die for me.  It really is an amazing concept and those veterans reading this probably understand what I am trying to convey. 

     So far my TN Regiment has been fortunate not to have any killed in action, but there has been two casualties.  Our regiment has smaller units attached to us for support.  A Wisconsin National Guardsman died late last year from an IED, and recently an Active duty Soldier from Fort Bragg, NC died.  His name was Staff Sergeant Eric Steffeney.  He was an EOD technician with the EOD (Explosive Ordnance Disposal) unit that supports my regiment when we find an IED (Improvised Explosive Device).  EOD units disarm IEDs and make the roads safe to drive on.  As you have all heard, these devices are the biggest threat to our forces today.  The enemy are cowards and don’t face us on the battle field so they set up roadside bombs, and car bombs to try and kill us or innocent Iraqis who seek freedom.  I won’t get into details about his death since there is always an investigation and I don’t want to hinder it or get myself in trouble.  Some of the guys in my company knew the Sergeant and had spoken with him the day before he died.  I probably ate in the chow hall next to him once or twice, since it does not hold many personnel.  He was 28 years old, with a wife and three children (they probably have red hair like he did).  This posting is a tribute to him and his ultimate sacrifice for our country.  When I drive by the area that he died, I pray for his wife and her struggle being alone, and her trying to explain to their children why Daddy is never coming home.  Please help me pray for her.  I don’t know her name or her pain, but I know she has a name and that her pain is real.   Below is the Department of Defense release of his death on 23 Feb 2005.

http://www.defenselink.mil/releases/2005/nr20050225-2123.html

As I have gotten older, my heart has softened in many ways.  Crying with God is not new to me, but sadness had a new face as I mourned and saluted a fallen brother when his body was driven down the flight line of my Camp, and then loaded onto an awaiting Blackhawk to be taken home for burial.  I don't want to write about Sergeant Steffeney anymore as it upsets me typing this, sorry...    

Thank you Eric for your life and service to our country.-- shawn

This situation reminds me of similar losses in my life:

Mike Coe, Rest in Peace bro... Those of us who grew up together will never forget him and the effect his endless smile still has on our lives. 

Susie Rodgers, a special girl that I grew up with in youth group.  I bet she could share many stories of God with me now.   

Mike, Susie, I will never forget you..

Water Over the Bridge

     Well this week has been fairly uneventful.  Our maintenance has kept up well with the incoming work orders.  New engines and transmissions, trouble shooting problems, and even fixing our own trucks seemed to be routine here.  I am still getting to know the guys and hearing a lot about their families.  Most of the guys are married with a couple children.  I can talk to them about their difficulties being separated from their children, but still can’t truly understand what it feels like to miss their little girl’s 3^rd birthday, or their boy’s championship ball game.  A friend of mine got back from OIF in September and he even missed his son’s 1^st and 2^nd birthday due to an extension on his tour.  Yes it is a noble cause, and the world (including the US) will be a better place due to our mission here, but the cost of lives and missed time with family is great.  “A man who is good enough to shed his blood for his country is good enough to be given a square deal afterwards.”  Theodore Roosevelt.  After this experience, I will more understand why veterans are weary of politicians who have not served in our armed forces. 

     I do have a funny story to share.  I went on a convoy to pick up items at Camp Speicher, which is in Tikrit.  The ride there went fine and we got there with no problems.  The ride back was a different story.  We did not have any contact with the enemy, but did have contact with mother nature.  We had to cross a bridge to get back to our Camp, and after the bridge, there is a strip of road that is normally only about 1 foot above the water level.  I attached pictures of swim time in Iraq.  The water level had risen while we were gone and water was flowing over the road.  It looked real intimidating, but we saw a local drive his little blue pickup truck (in picture) over it so the lead vehicle in the convoy thought we should have little trouble.  With big trucks, little problems rarely exist.  As we are driving across I noticed my driver getting too close to the left edge of the road.  I started telling him to turn right, turn right!!  By the time he reacted, our front left wheels were swallowed up by the deep water in the lake.  The nine Soldiers in the back of the truck could now join the Olympic high jumping team as they quickly exited the vehicle.  As water was pouring into the vehicle, the driver started climbing towards me as my door was the only way out.  It was hard to get the door open since it was so heavy due to the armor, and the vehicle being almost on its side.  It happened fairly slowly to me as the vehicle was sinking and I did not fear for my life, so please don’t worry about me. 

     About 45 minutes later we were able to recover the vehicle using the cargo truck in front of it to stabilize it, and the rear vehicle to drag it back up onto the pavement.  Being the tough vehicle that is was, it cranked right up and we drove back to the Camp without any more incidents.  Growing up I never earned a nickname and the name Shawn does not shorten any so I thought is amusing that my platoon started calling me LT Flipper.  I wasn’t even driving, but if they think it is funny, than cool with me.  Laughter keeps morale up, which is one of my most important missions.  Also, LT Flipper isn’t too bad.  I have heard much worse, ha ha. I told them I would practice sound effects but am having trouble making dolphin noises..   Gotta run-- love you all, shawn

"(When you get to Heaven) Leave your dog outside. Heaven goes by favor. If it went by merit you would stay out and the dog would go in." Mark Twain

beanie babies to baghdad

not sure if this is an origianl idea of my mom's, but she (along with some friends) are collecting beanie babies to mail to shawn to help distribute to the children of iraq. if you didn't know our fire and police department use teddy bears and other stuff animals to help comfort children in times of crisis, the army is doing this as well. if you have any beanie babies that you don't care for anymore, or similar sized stuff animals (remember they have to fit into their armored vehicles), then send them to my mother and she will ship them. if you know where she lives you can drop them off at the house.

Janet Richardson

609 Bergen Drive

Cinnaminson, NJ 08077

in a related article from the united methodist church you can see this is not an isolated effort. thanks, gavin

Settled In

Hey everyone! I finally got settled with my platoon and am now living with them. It is not too bad. We have heat and the air conditioner is getting fixed this week. It is an old airplane hanger (smaller than most in the camp). There are 25 of us who live in it, and besides the movies and music playing, the sawing of logs by some guys, slamming of doors, and talking too loud, it is not too loud to sleep. Some of my guys man a guard post in the Camp so they have odd hours, and struggle getting rest when needed. There are four on the leadership team, and the rest are mechanics who fix anything from HUMMVs (hummers) to large cargo trucks and tanks. They are so skilled and amaze me with their knowledge of various electrical systems and hydraulic problems that arise. We change engines and transmissions out faster than mechanics at home could dream of. Many of the guys in my platoon are from rural areas in east TN. It seems that each of them know so many hands on skills. Most of them have experience in mechanics, carpentry, welding, power, plumbing, and simply have an positive attitude when something is broken. The motto for the 278th is "I Volunteer Sir!" from Tennesseans volunteering in the civil war, and our platoon's motto should be, 'I Will Fix That Sir!”
While on the QRF team today, I got a chance to travel to Camp Danger. Camp Danger is located in Tikrit where Saddam grew up. You could tell that he put more money in his hometown while he let the rest of the country rot. It made me sick to drive through his former fortress and see his many palaces, and few man made lakes. The palace that I visited had many things set up for Soldiers to utilize. A movie theatre, full gym, coffee shop, and shopping bazaar. The IA (Iraqi Army) was in Tikrit and I can tell that they are overall taking more responsibility for their country. Hopefully they will be ready when the time is right to pass everything over to them. With all of the risks they take by signing up, I salute them and their courage. One IA Soldier that we met here at Bernstein joined because his brother was in the Army when Iraq invaded Kuwait. His brother refused to take part in the Iraq's invasion of Kuwait so Saddam had him beheaded. People here are so scared by life. We can't even image the heartache that some of these people have. One of Saddam's sons put people in wood chippers if he did not like them. If he felt mercy then he would put them in head first, but if not then feet first while his/her family watched.
I see the cause of freedom on peoples' faces as we drive by. Adults and children smile and wave. Anytime we go out of the Camp, we take candy and school supplies and throw them to the children. We give them whatever we have, Gatorade, mountain dew, mints, etc.. Kids basically fight each other over it though. It is basically an only the strong survive society. There is no pick the bag up of candy, count it, then pass it out equally. As we drive down the roads (mostly dirt, but some paved), we scan the countryside. The terrain is boring here with only one large ridge between us and Iran. When we get near a city, I get excited because it is something to look at and means one town closer to getting to safety. My excitement quickly is lost when I smell each city. With no sewer systems, they smell awful. No clean running water, barely power, and people selling illegal fuel from 5-gallon containers. It is the IP's (Iraqi Police) job to regulate that so we keep driving on. It is nice to see the IP, IA, or ING (Iraqi National Guard), and they are always glad to see us. We are backup for them when needed, and we pack quite a firearm punch. All of us from TN are going strong, and hopefully this trend will continue. If any of you want to send items, then school supplies would be great. I miss you all.. shawn

"America, we must remember, is no more than the sum of ourselves." John D. Rockefeller III